Subaru Launches April Fools’ Day Road Trip Granola

Love, Puppy Kisses, and a Promised Journey

It’s been less than two weeks since spring officially arrived, and with the warmer temperatures and more sunlight comes the anticipation of vacation season. Experienced road-trippers know that no journey is complete without a proper stock of snacks, and Subaru has come up with a unique new offering that speaks to its “More Than a Car Company” mantra as it gears up for April Fools’ Day.

The faux Subaru Forager Granola snack comes in a package made of 100-percent recycled “Good Vibes,” which are a cinch to conjure up and ideal for those mindful of their ecological impact. According to the car manufacturer, its new snack is “for those who like their snacks as crunchy as they are.”

Subaru has issued a warning that their snack mix of nuts, dried fruits, and grains may contain something unexpected: dog hair! While the snack may offer “the promise of the open road,” it’s important to note that a lint roller should be used to remove any rogue fur. Thanks for the warning, Subaru!

The company is well aware that today’s snacking customers want endless options when it comes to their food, and Subaru Forager Granola is the perfect solution. The snack can be tailored to meet any customer’s needs, with the automaker suggesting “fresh steam from Old Faithful, crunchy macrobiotic twigs, and even (maybe?) those berries you found in the woods.”

The delectable nutritional information makes it appear satisfying, filled with plenty of crunchy texture, copious amounts of pup smooches (which must be where the dog hair is from), and fantastically tacky vehicle decal stickiness. The essential elements comprise of affection, rolled oats, natural compost, spores of water originating from the Grand Canyon…and obviously, a hefty amount of salt.

Subaru even brought in Moe Muesli, the Head of Texture and Granularity at Subaru of America, to comment on the new faux product. It is an apt name, as muesli is a popular cold breakfast dish made with rolled oats. Muesli the Moe had some positive words to say about Subaru’s pretend snack, saying, “We know Subaru owners are known to be ‘crunchy’, and now we have a snack that is as crunchy – or maybe even crisper – than they are.”

A launch of the treat was anticipated for April 1st, but this being a jape, one cannot find it on store racks. Of course, automakers are considering different strategies for capitalizing in the EV epoch; however, they are direct their attention towards subscriptions, pay-gates, and software programs, not nibbles. Not yet, at least.

Source: Subaru

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